I’m supposed to be sleeping now. But, I don’t want to yet.

It was April’s Fool Day when I woke up late. Well, later than what I had planned to wake up at. Climbed out of bed because I needed to pee. Staggered to and opened the door to my corridor. This piece of paper stuck on the wall right in front of me got me staring. I’m looking at myself, on my birthday, my 17th birthday. It was me watching my birthday video and eating my ice cream at Eighteen Chefs. It said “MISSING. IF FOUND, REWARD: MI GORENG. Ps: We love you, really.” I chuckled to myself silently and rushed to the toilet. There, on top of the toilet bowl, another me. This time round, it was the 15yo me, posing with the aikido master during my Japan exchange trip. It said “PRESCOTT HAVE NO FEAR FOR I AM HERE!” This two posters were everywhere on upper Prescott. On the cubicle door (I saw it when I locked it), on the toilet mirror, on the toilet door, at the head of the stairs, etc. It kinda made my day, I was simply laughing at myself everywhere as I looked for the posters. I suspected that it was my RA who did it.

But somehow, that joy died down along throughout the day. I was like a moody papaya. Getting so easily pissed off by little things, by my closer girlfriends, etc. I guess I was partly upset because he didn’t call. It got worse when I started to think upon it. I knew he was probably really tired and is currently resting but I still wished he called. Tried to distract myself by doing my readings for the lectures I have missed in the past two weeks. Did work for a while and I got sleepy. Headed for a nap and was woken up by a FaceTime call from mommy. During the call, I tried so hard not to appear so grumpy and pissed. I really did. But mommy still questioned why I was so grumpy. Well, I just shrugged it off and said that no one would be excited and all while doing their readings. She bought it. Ended the call, went back to my readings. Wasn’t too long before he finally called.

I don’t know why but I didn’t managed to perk up that much. Our call didn’t last too long too… His friend called him in the middle of our call and asked him out for dinner. I asked him to go, he did hesitate and questioned if I was sure I wanted him to go. I felt that he still needs his time with his friends so I told him to go. At that point, sadness washed me over, I could feel tears in my eyes. Held it in. And managed to hang up without him suspecting anything.

The rest of the night was a little better as I attempted to get back at my RA with Lipin’s help. We built a newspaper wall at her door and a jungle of newspaper strips along her corridor. It looked both like an obstacle course and a piece of artwork at the same time. I’ve totally enjoyed myself doing all that. It was so much more enjoyable than I expected it to be.

Some friends are there for you all the way while others are just passing by. It’s so hard to figure out who’s here to stay and who’s passing by. I guess we all learn along the way. And also, days like this just makes me think that I might possibly be better off without… The distance just doesn’t help make things better. Maybe it’s just my brain being fuzzy tonight. It’ll be better tomorrow. Goodnight loves.

I’m supposed to be sleeping now. But, I don’t want to yet.

It was April’s Fool Day when I woke up late. Well, later than what I had planned to wake up at. Climbed out of bed because I needed to pee. Staggered to and opened the door to my corridor. This piece of paper stuck on the wall right in front of me got me staring. I’m looking at myself, on my birthday, my 17th birthday. It was me watching my birthday video and eating my ice cream at Eighteen Chefs. It said “MISSING. IF FOUND, REWARD: MI GORENG. Ps: We love you, really.” I chuckled to myself silently and rushed to the toilet. There, on top of the toilet bowl, another me. This time round, it was the 15yo me, posing with the aikido master during my Japan exchange trip. It said “PRESCOTT HAVE NO FEAR FOR I AM HERE!” This two posters were everywhere on upper Prescott. On the cubicle door (I saw it when I locked it), on the toilet mirror, on the toilet door, at the head of the stairs, etc. It kinda made my day, I was simply laughing at myself everywhere as I looked for the posters. I suspected that it was my RA who did it.

But somehow, that joy died down along throughout the day. I was like a moody papaya. Getting so easily pissed off by little things, by my closer girlfriends, etc. I guess I was partly upset because he didn’t call. It got worse when I started to think upon it. I knew he was probably really tired and is currently resting but I still wished he called. Tried to distract myself by doing my readings for the lectures I have missed in the past two weeks. Did work for a while and I got sleepy. Headed for a nap and was woken up by a FaceTime call from mommy. During the call, I tried so hard not to appear so grumpy and pissed. I really did. But mommy still questioned why I was so grumpy. Well, I just shrugged it off and said that no one would be excited and all while doing their readings. She bought it. Ended the call, went back to my readings. Wasn’t too long before he finally called.

I don’t know why but I didn’t managed to perk up that much. Our call didn’t last too long too… His friend called him in the middle of our call and asked him out for dinner. I asked him to go, he did hesitate and questioned if I was sure I wanted him to go. I felt that he still needs his time with his friends so I told him to go. At that point, sadness washed me over, I could feel tears in my eyes. Held it in. And managed to hang up without him suspecting anything.

The rest of the night was a little better as I attempted to get back at my RA with Lipin’s help. We built a newspaper wall at her door and a jungle of newspaper strips along her corridor. It looked both like an obstacle course and a piece of artwork at the same time. I’ve totally enjoyed myself doing all that. It was so much more enjoyable than I expected it to be.

Some friends are there for you all the way while others are just passing by. It’s so hard to figure out who’s here to stay and who’s passing by. I guess we all learn along the way. And also, days like this just makes me think that I might possibly be better off without… The distance just doesn’t help make things better. Maybe it’s just my brain being fuzzy tonight. It’ll be better tomorrow. Goodnight loves.