Today is the second last day of school, started off with PW and ended off with an SD lecture. PW was.. quite sad I guess. As in to me. I slept through some of the presentations before mine and when it was my turn, nervous breakdown. I just panicked and everything was just gone. Pure reading-off from the slides, my question mysteriously disappeared from my mind, my pace became inconsistent, my eye contact was gone. Mr Shi told me in my comments that he expected me to do better, and yes, I expected myself to do better too. 

After our group was done, Daniel held an informal group meeting outside the class, Cindy and Alex told me they could see that I was very tensed and nervous even when I was clicking the slides. The usual things and yeah, just told them I was nervous. Forgot what Daniel said but Alex just told me to tell myself something to boost my confidence level before it's my turn and punched me lightly. End of meeting. 

I just thought it over and thought it was kinda stupid that I have never gotten that confidence to perform/ present. It's the same for dance. Just that I get enough practice to pull it off, even without confidence. Maybe that's why I'm never a part of the topmost tier for chosen dancers. And so yup, that was why I was alone outside the class after my presentation. Wanted a cat or a dog to be around, to de-stress? something like that I guess.

It was a little bit due to some other stuff that I read online too. Just made me feel sad and helpless and all.

But the emoing plan failed cause somehow Marcus and David came over to the water cooler when I got out of class. Talking to them cheered me up greatly. Thanks guys(:

Went for SD in the end, Clement was asking me: "Well, this is worth coming for right?" Mmhm, it is. Interesting, engaging and funny. I think the lady, Ruth, has got a really sweet smile. Concluded that it was the typical warm-feeling Australian smile at the end of the presentation when she mentioned that she studied in Australia before. 

Went to Daniel's house in the end, cause Bernie's house was too far and it was late. Some went home though. Daniel, David and Bryan ran back. 4km, well done :P Ordered pizzas, sang songs, played Wii, played with the dogs and laughed a lot. I think I found a way round my parents that might work in the future. Set a time with them that I'll be home latest by and meet it. Like probably reach home earlier than that. Might just work like it did today hehheh. 

Went home when Daniel's parents came back, Bernie thought we shouldn't disturb them anymore. Which should be the case. So we all left. Oh and I managed to meet the time that I set with my mom. 30 minutes early some more! haha.When I reminded my mother that, she just said: "yeah, so why can't you be like that all the time. Oh and you haven't been practising your piano for quite a long time already, when are you going to do it?" First of all, I don't get the chance. With regards to the practising of the piano, I told her I would do so on Friday since it was a public holiday. Guess I'll have to shift it to tomorrow night instead.

I wanted to talk to you longer but the bus came relatively early today so there wasn't really a chance. Haha, it's nothing serious though. Guess there will be a chance la. Hopefully, when that chance comes, I won't forget what I've forgotten for the second time today and maybe gather enough strength to do so.. mental strength heh, nothing else I think.

Today is the second last day of school, started off with PW and ended off with an SD lecture. PW was.. quite sad I guess. As in to me. I slept through some of the presentations before mine and when it was my turn, nervous breakdown. I just panicked and everything was just gone. Pure reading-off from the slides, my question mysteriously disappeared from my mind, my pace became inconsistent, my eye contact was gone. Mr Shi told me in my comments that he expected me to do better, and yes, I expected myself to do better too. 

After our group was done, Daniel held an informal group meeting outside the class, Cindy and Alex told me they could see that I was very tensed and nervous even when I was clicking the slides. The usual things and yeah, just told them I was nervous. Forgot what Daniel said but Alex just told me to tell myself something to boost my confidence level before it's my turn and punched me lightly. End of meeting. 

I just thought it over and thought it was kinda stupid that I have never gotten that confidence to perform/ present. It's the same for dance. Just that I get enough practice to pull it off, even without confidence. Maybe that's why I'm never a part of the topmost tier for chosen dancers. And so yup, that was why I was alone outside the class after my presentation. Wanted a cat or a dog to be around, to de-stress? something like that I guess.

It was a little bit due to some other stuff that I read online too. Just made me feel sad and helpless and all.

But the emoing plan failed cause somehow Marcus and David came over to the water cooler when I got out of class. Talking to them cheered me up greatly. Thanks guys(:

Went for SD in the end, Clement was asking me: "Well, this is worth coming for right?" Mmhm, it is. Interesting, engaging and funny. I think the lady, Ruth, has got a really sweet smile. Concluded that it was the typical warm-feeling Australian smile at the end of the presentation when she mentioned that she studied in Australia before. 

Went to Daniel's house in the end, cause Bernie's house was too far and it was late. Some went home though. Daniel, David and Bryan ran back. 4km, well done :P Ordered pizzas, sang songs, played Wii, played with the dogs and laughed a lot. I think I found a way round my parents that might work in the future. Set a time with them that I'll be home latest by and meet it. Like probably reach home earlier than that. Might just work like it did today hehheh. 

Went home when Daniel's parents came back, Bernie thought we shouldn't disturb them anymore. Which should be the case. So we all left. Oh and I managed to meet the time that I set with my mom. 30 minutes early some more! haha.When I reminded my mother that, she just said: "yeah, so why can't you be like that all the time. Oh and you haven't been practising your piano for quite a long time already, when are you going to do it?" First of all, I don't get the chance. With regards to the practising of the piano, I told her I would do so on Friday since it was a public holiday. Guess I'll have to shift it to tomorrow night instead.

I wanted to talk to you longer but the bus came relatively early today so there wasn't really a chance. Haha, it's nothing serious though. Guess there will be a chance la. Hopefully, when that chance comes, I won't forget what I've forgotten for the second time today and maybe gather enough strength to do so.. mental strength heh, nothing else I think.