I haven't been posting even though I've been wanting to post because I have been too tired to post for the past few days. So here's everything that I can recall.

And so, Friday wasn't the end of the fun days. It managed to stretch till today and I'm thankful for that. Somehow, I managed to get permission to go for the picnic. So I went down to Harbourfront after dance, had quite a lot of fun getting there and being there. Went home in quite a bad mood though. Parents were being themselves, making their usual comments about me playing too much, etc. Thank you Bernie, for walking me to the bus-stop(: I did take her advice after I got onto the car but well, the damage was already done over the phone. Went home, feeling quite crappy. That feeling did go away after a shower and a night's sleep. 

Sunday, the same church thing again. Woke up, ready to go to church, parents just did the same thing, complained that I kept planning to go out, don't want to stay home, to clean up my room, to practice my piano, etc. Kept saying that I'm wasting time going to church, not gaining anything from it at all (by that they mean like pulling strings, building relationships with those of higher social status or reputable occupation). I was on the verge of bursting to tell them that I don't go to church for those, but for God. Well, I didn't. You know something, this is where I think of giving up. I could just use this as an excuse to say oh well, I don't need to wake up early on Sundays to go for service cause my parents don't allow me to go. But well, I won't. Even if they're going to ban me from going to church again, I know God will bring me back again one day. I just have to persevere by video sermons and quiet times. If He can bring me back after 5 years of losing me, surely He'll bring me back again. Of course, I'll have to do my part, it's a two-way work. 

Today, last minute planned to go out. Only informed my mommy this morning on the pretense that I'm meeting up for PW. They probably saw through me. But ohwells, I overstretched my limits. I don't know, really. Maybe it's time for me to step down and retreat to become a submissive daughter... following everything they want me to do and avoiding what they don't want me to do. Which probably means, going home early every single day once school ends, staying home on Sundays, not planning any outings or meet-ups nor attending any, surrendering my laptop and my handphone at night or for the whole of next year, not talking on the phone, studying downstairs, practising the piano every single night, the list is never-ending but everything is on my dislike list. Oh wait, but there's one thing that they'll definitely reject but I won't let go.

On the way home just now, when I was waiting for 966 (the first bus came and left, the guys at the back of the bus could have moved more, selfish people), there was this girl from Shiqi's class. She actually remembers me. Well, she was in school attire, heading home too. We talked on the bus cause we both managed to squeeze up the bus. I forgot how it started though. Some of the things that we talked about were results, retaining, PW OP, J2 life. What I'm going to highlight is that she reminded me that I needed to use this holiday wisely to get everything right cause her cousin warned her that the pace next year would be madness. Completion of 30% within 6 months.. when we're completing 70% within less than a year right now. So yeah. She just warned me like in her position as a random schoolmate and a friend's friend. I don't know her directly but well we just talked. Hm so yeah. 

I haven't been posting even though I've been wanting to post because I have been too tired to post for the past few days. So here's everything that I can recall.

And so, Friday wasn't the end of the fun days. It managed to stretch till today and I'm thankful for that. Somehow, I managed to get permission to go for the picnic. So I went down to Harbourfront after dance, had quite a lot of fun getting there and being there. Went home in quite a bad mood though. Parents were being themselves, making their usual comments about me playing too much, etc. Thank you Bernie, for walking me to the bus-stop(: I did take her advice after I got onto the car but well, the damage was already done over the phone. Went home, feeling quite crappy. That feeling did go away after a shower and a night's sleep. 

Sunday, the same church thing again. Woke up, ready to go to church, parents just did the same thing, complained that I kept planning to go out, don't want to stay home, to clean up my room, to practice my piano, etc. Kept saying that I'm wasting time going to church, not gaining anything from it at all (by that they mean like pulling strings, building relationships with those of higher social status or reputable occupation). I was on the verge of bursting to tell them that I don't go to church for those, but for God. Well, I didn't. You know something, this is where I think of giving up. I could just use this as an excuse to say oh well, I don't need to wake up early on Sundays to go for service cause my parents don't allow me to go. But well, I won't. Even if they're going to ban me from going to church again, I know God will bring me back again one day. I just have to persevere by video sermons and quiet times. If He can bring me back after 5 years of losing me, surely He'll bring me back again. Of course, I'll have to do my part, it's a two-way work. 

Today, last minute planned to go out. Only informed my mommy this morning on the pretense that I'm meeting up for PW. They probably saw through me. But ohwells, I overstretched my limits. I don't know, really. Maybe it's time for me to step down and retreat to become a submissive daughter... following everything they want me to do and avoiding what they don't want me to do. Which probably means, going home early every single day once school ends, staying home on Sundays, not planning any outings or meet-ups nor attending any, surrendering my laptop and my handphone at night or for the whole of next year, not talking on the phone, studying downstairs, practising the piano every single night, the list is never-ending but everything is on my dislike list. Oh wait, but there's one thing that they'll definitely reject but I won't let go.

On the way home just now, when I was waiting for 966 (the first bus came and left, the guys at the back of the bus could have moved more, selfish people), there was this girl from Shiqi's class. She actually remembers me. Well, she was in school attire, heading home too. We talked on the bus cause we both managed to squeeze up the bus. I forgot how it started though. Some of the things that we talked about were results, retaining, PW OP, J2 life. What I'm going to highlight is that she reminded me that I needed to use this holiday wisely to get everything right cause her cousin warned her that the pace next year would be madness. Completion of 30% within 6 months.. when we're completing 70% within less than a year right now. So yeah. She just warned me like in her position as a random schoolmate and a friend's friend. I don't know her directly but well we just talked. Hm so yeah.