I couldn't sleep yesterday night, not until 1am. Maybe I slept too much in the afternoon or it was really because I had a little bit too much to think upon. There's the parents-outsider argument and the usual not allowing me to go to church thing that happened over the weekend, complete with Sunday service, that made me think deeply. This isn't like what Bernie has been telling me to refrain from doing so I shall go into it. For the parents-outsider thing, I wondered if I did the right thing. From the similar incident, the bus incident, I'd have stood out to break the whole thing up. The only difference between the two situations was that, the party that I'm with was my classmates not my parents. I really had to think: What if my mom tells me after that " 你帮外人不帮你自己的父母" (which she still did in the end). Luckily, some passer-by took my place for that. After the end of the storm, my brother and I just sat in the car. Apparently, our parents have "forgotten" about us. Well, not really, they called my brother and got him to get the car keys from a distance away where they're waiting at.

As for the "ban", I should have been used to it by now, so yes nothing much about it. Mommy told me that my attitude has been getting worse and she blamed it on church again. She did mentioned that it's not like she's seen a good change in me after I went church, so it bothers her. Both my parents said that I'm being brainwashed and all blindly engrossed in God. Okay, so I did what I was supposed to do and ran everything through with a sieve. Took out what was relevant: my attitude has been getting worse. That, I agree. The last time we went to Daniel's house, Bernie was telling us how she admires his family to be so uh, together/ warm? Like even when they see us off at the doors, they would stop and chat with us for a while and the whole family would be there. That suddenly applied to me, that hm, I haven't been doing that. It's only right that I should be treating my brother, his friends or anyone that comes to the house in a similar way right? 

Sunday service became my wake-up call again. God was probably speaking to me again. It was about sanctification. First we'll have personal sanctification, then progressive sanctification then finally perfect sanctification. I think, I don't even understand the personal sanctification part. I'm going to start changing and I'm not going to do this alone, God is in it with me. This can never be one-sided like how it has been, it must be an exchange. 

And I will give them one heart , and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of the flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh: That they may walk in my statutes, and keep mine ordinances, and do them: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God.

Ezekiel 11:19-20

That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Ephesians 22-24

I couldn't sleep yesterday night, not until 1am. Maybe I slept too much in the afternoon or it was really because I had a little bit too much to think upon. There's the parents-outsider argument and the usual not allowing me to go to church thing that happened over the weekend, complete with Sunday service, that made me think deeply. This isn't like what Bernie has been telling me to refrain from doing so I shall go into it. For the parents-outsider thing, I wondered if I did the right thing. From the similar incident, the bus incident, I'd have stood out to break the whole thing up. The only difference between the two situations was that, the party that I'm with was my classmates not my parents. I really had to think: What if my mom tells me after that " 你帮外人不帮你自己的父母" (which she still did in the end). Luckily, some passer-by took my place for that. After the end of the storm, my brother and I just sat in the car. Apparently, our parents have "forgotten" about us. Well, not really, they called my brother and got him to get the car keys from a distance away where they're waiting at.

As for the "ban", I should have been used to it by now, so yes nothing much about it. Mommy told me that my attitude has been getting worse and she blamed it on church again. She did mentioned that it's not like she's seen a good change in me after I went church, so it bothers her. Both my parents said that I'm being brainwashed and all blindly engrossed in God. Okay, so I did what I was supposed to do and ran everything through with a sieve. Took out what was relevant: my attitude has been getting worse. That, I agree. The last time we went to Daniel's house, Bernie was telling us how she admires his family to be so uh, together/ warm? Like even when they see us off at the doors, they would stop and chat with us for a while and the whole family would be there. That suddenly applied to me, that hm, I haven't been doing that. It's only right that I should be treating my brother, his friends or anyone that comes to the house in a similar way right? 

Sunday service became my wake-up call again. God was probably speaking to me again. It was about sanctification. First we'll have personal sanctification, then progressive sanctification then finally perfect sanctification. I think, I don't even understand the personal sanctification part. I'm going to start changing and I'm not going to do this alone, God is in it with me. This can never be one-sided like how it has been, it must be an exchange. 

And I will give them one heart , and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of the flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh: That they may walk in my statutes, and keep mine ordinances, and do them: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God.

Ezekiel 11:19-20

That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Ephesians 22-24