I cried again. Sighh... I feel really bad that I didn't do better for Ms Lee. She is the best teacher I've met.. none of the teachers actually bothered to interfere in my life. Not anywhere further than school performance is concerned. Or maybe it was just that I didn't wanted to open up to any of the teachers. I really thank God for her. She helped me heaps in Chemistry, I'm just feeling sorry for myself cause I didn't do better for her. Ms Ho too. She believed in me so strongly, always giving me encouragement. I was a F9 student in Amaths that's the shocking truth. The tears started flowing when I hugged her, I just wanted to thank her so much but all the words came out as mumbling cause I couldn't find my voice anywhere. I just sobbed.

Dad and Mom was almost at it again during dinner. Sigh, I really don't know why they are always arguing over the same topic. It's 2010 already and they're still arguing over what they've argued over in 2009. Sheesh. I was so afraid that the same thing was going to happen again this year. Please, let it not happen. I don't want to turn to anyone this year. There isn't exactly anyone I would want to turn to this year, so no, not this year.

A thick cloud of silence hung over my family during dinner; a cold war at it's fullest form. "Mom should probably change this bad attitude of hers", I thought. At that point, she said something that made me think even further. For the very first time, I pointed the finger of blame at myself— "Could all these be the result of my failure to follow God's most important commandment for us, children?" Probably. Then the possibility of these being effects of PMS washed away my thoughts.

Great big plans ahead. I don't know whether I should just leave this memory I'm trying to continue. Maybe for my parents I'll gather the strength to, maybe with school I'll manage just as well not thinking about it. This is not going to be the little steps anymore, it's a big jump from the current spot. Well, I have the background from primary school, surely I can manage just as well at the Chinese side. Wait, I don't have the Bible in Chinese.. how am I suppose to start? Leave everything behind and maybe without meeting I'll just forget everything in time. Or maybe I should just be like Lydia and suffer from self-induced amnesia.

I cried again. Sighh... I feel really bad that I didn't do better for Ms Lee. She is the best teacher I've met.. none of the teachers actually bothered to interfere in my life. Not anywhere further than school performance is concerned. Or maybe it was just that I didn't wanted to open up to any of the teachers. I really thank God for her. She helped me heaps in Chemistry, I'm just feeling sorry for myself cause I didn't do better for her. Ms Ho too. She believed in me so strongly, always giving me encouragement. I was a F9 student in Amaths that's the shocking truth. The tears started flowing when I hugged her, I just wanted to thank her so much but all the words came out as mumbling cause I couldn't find my voice anywhere. I just sobbed.

Dad and Mom was almost at it again during dinner. Sigh, I really don't know why they are always arguing over the same topic. It's 2010 already and they're still arguing over what they've argued over in 2009. Sheesh. I was so afraid that the same thing was going to happen again this year. Please, let it not happen. I don't want to turn to anyone this year. There isn't exactly anyone I would want to turn to this year, so no, not this year.

A thick cloud of silence hung over my family during dinner; a cold war at it's fullest form. "Mom should probably change this bad attitude of hers", I thought. At that point, she said something that made me think even further. For the very first time, I pointed the finger of blame at myself— "Could all these be the result of my failure to follow God's most important commandment for us, children?" Probably. Then the possibility of these being effects of PMS washed away my thoughts.

Great big plans ahead. I don't know whether I should just leave this memory I'm trying to continue. Maybe for my parents I'll gather the strength to, maybe with school I'll manage just as well not thinking about it. This is not going to be the little steps anymore, it's a big jump from the current spot. Well, I have the background from primary school, surely I can manage just as well at the Chinese side. Wait, I don't have the Bible in Chinese.. how am I suppose to start? Leave everything behind and maybe without meeting I'll just forget everything in time. Or maybe I should just be like Lydia and suffer from self-induced amnesia.