Live. Laugh. Love. DANCE.

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ZhiXin.
& I Love Dance.
I know I belong to God. I know I have awesome people around me. Maybe not all the time, but it's sufficient. Don't say I didn't warn you, my post are drug-doused; they are really long and might put you to sleep. There, you have all about me.





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Goodbye Solitudes


Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friends are?


I really want to thank Ms Lee, Marion, Joanne, JooYe and Marisa. First time I opened up fully to peers in school, was really on the verge of crying while telling my story. hehs.. Ms Lee's advice and points of views is useful somehow and someway(: Oh wells, I'm a little sorry that I made them stay back from 1pm till like 2pm. They could have gone home, but they stayed and listened. How nice right? I think the best part of everything was that Joanne won me in scissors-paper-stone to get me to talk to Ms Lee. MOE had a message for us. Some organisation (audible hearts) gave all the students a booklet that says C.O.P.E.S in front and behind. It's a notebook(: But since I already have one, I don't think I'll be using the one they gave as a handy dandy notebook :D Mine's a little cooler, with "WHATEVER" on the cover. And and, I've got many things personalised inside((: Haha :D

During Class time yesterday, Ms Lee talked about how to cope with stress and all. At least her talk wasn't boring xD OHOH! And I'm surprised I didn't sleep during Chemistry lessons yesterday O.O HAHAHAH xP kuku le. In her talk, she included many pretty interesting stuff that I was drawn in by. Like erms, she said it was good to talk on the phone with friends sometimes? So in my mind, I was like: my parents definetly have to learn this, it's so normal! Then another point she said was that she knows that we won't turn to our parents, most of us, when we are down or something like that. So yup, we turn to many different other ways. She stated that she herself is almost like that. Like erms, she'll go shopping, eat, cycle, read a book, etc. NOT OVEREATING she emphasised xD haha, then she told us that she couldn't understand how people think when they starve themselves, "I find eating such a pleasure~!" haha, this coming out of Ms Lee's mouth somehow had a amusing factor tagged to it. Made the class laugh((:

Talked to Ms Lee about my parents not allowing me to talk on the phone and getting all sensitive about certain topics. She explained to me, that it's natural. Different parents think differently... they show their love differently. I know. Then she said that she understands cause she took care of her niece ( about my age ) and her sister is somewhat like my parents. But when her niece went out, she'll tell her mom who she's going out with and all. Even bringing her friends home to let her mother know what kind of friends she's with.. Eventually, her sister let go a little but still maintaining her stand at times. But her niece will acknowledge her sister's wills at times, like not going out and explaining to her friends when her mother don't allow. Ms Lee also added that this may not be the case for my family but I can go along the line, cause she the previous time she met my parents, she realised that my parents are very worried about my studies. So yeah..

At that point in time, I was thinking. If I started my NYAA service at a childcare centre, will I get to learn a little on how my parents feel? of course there's the age difference of the children there compared to me. But more or less I'll be able to learn something right?

After talking to Ms Lee, talked to Marisa and the rest. About almost everything.. events from when I was young until now. So, I suppose they know the most about me now, amongst all my friends. But that doesn't mean that they're closest to me now. First reaction, surprised. Marisa was surprised that I didn't turn to self-multilation or drugs or cigarettes because of all these issues at home. JooYe shared her story of her faking sucide when she was super angry. They are surprised that I can still be so happy from time to time. Friends, I guess. They are the ones I have been turning to all the time(: It's really thanks to them that I didn't harm myself in any way.

Marisa was also telling us: " Wah, I actually thought of sucide before..." In a way, I thought she was implying the question whether I did before. Then I answered myself/her:" No la! why would I want to think of sucide, all the time I have been thinking of ways to make my parents change their views and thinking so that one day I'll get my FREEDOM. I die le then how to get my freedom?!" started laughing after that. But I did tell them of the wall. This wall to protect me and them, made up of "bricks" from incidents and "glue" of years. Yeah, that's about it. I only remember how tired I was after the talk, don't know why. Because I managed to pour everything out that my mind and body can finally take a good rest? hehhs.. I don't know~

Another drowsy post of mine, hahs. Life's going to be dead if I don't get to hang out soon): TTFN.


By ZhiXin.♥
@ 5:42 PM