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ZhiXin.
& I Love Dance.
I know I belong to God. I know I have awesome people around me. Maybe not all the time, but it's sufficient. Don't say I didn't warn you, my post are drug-doused; they are really long and might put you to sleep. There, you have all about me.





The Daily
Says Who
Yesterdays
Goodbye Solitudes


Saturday, March 7, 2009
hello((: Missed my rantings yet?
This week has been crazy once again, a little better than the common test week. Just an itty witty bit better. Monday slept at 1.30, packing up the things my brother and mother bought for me from China. Tuesday about 1.30+ also, was studying for Geography, bad bad habit: Last minute studyings xD Wednesday 2.00+ and finally Thursday 3+. Highly doubt anyone in the class is as crazy as me, studying until so late. I seriously need to reschedule much things, especially if I want to continue learning the piano. Spending quantity time instead of quality time, not good, not effective. So far, if you're close to me, you would probably knew how awesomely well I did for this term. I don't think Art has got anything nice to show either.

For updates, I failed my Amaths and English so far, terribly. If I didn't remember wrongly, Fs for both. Actually Amaths is the one that's confirmed F, cause I got 9/40. Like Suhana, same marks surprisingly, cause we're both from different classes. Quotes from Suhana: " I don't like Trigo, Trigo don't like me." yeah, i don't wuite like Trigonometry too, cause there's so much to memorise. Also, there's the irritating Partial Fractions that everyone is saying that it's easy but I still can't grasp the main idea of solving them. Adding on, there's an AMaths Test next monday and Partial Fractions is one of the chapters tested. C6s for Emaths, Chinese and Chemistry, not very nice isn't it? I don't know how am I going to let my parents see my teachers during the Parents' Meeting Session. I'm not that worried about the conduct part nor the homework part, cause so far, I haven't been sleeping in class, the only homeworks that I have been not handing in is for Chinese. And there's the Graded Assignment for Geography that I have not handed in even the due date was weeks ago. The only subjects I'm hoping for is Social Studies and Geography, I have a feeling that I'm going to write a great history of myself..

Passing Combined Humanities for the very first time.

Not to forget, there's also Biology I'm holding on to((: Hope that this test would pull my marks up to a A. The conspicuous grade in my progress report if you understand. Just an A isn't going to make my parents smile slightly, looking at how my brother did for his A levels, I'm bound to get more naggings and comparings. Not just comparing my results with my brother's past results, there's ShiQi and some others they most likely enlist in the table of comparison. If until now, you still don't know who the 'they' are, 'they' refer to my parents, my unreasonable parents. I don't tag them with the adjective 'unreasonable' for nothing, they earned that term.

Got scolded early in the morning. Was running late for tuition and my handphone had to go missing when we are leaving the house. I was running up and down the house searching for my handphone. Not in the room, not in the leaving room, somewhere in the house. Couldn't be bothered, so I went off without my handphone. I told my dad when he dropped me off, that I will take the bus home myself after tuition. Cause before that, he told me that they may be going over to my aunt's. After tuition, walked to the bus-stop, took the bus home. When I got home, the car wasn't there, so I thought they all went to my aunt's already. Pressed the doorbell, my brother answered through the intercom -.- then went into the house, my brother passed me my handphone. I asked him where my parents went. He told me they went to fetch me, after calling Mr Choo. WHHATTT?? then I found out that they actually called my tuition teacher just to find out if I have left and but still went to fetch me. How old am I, 5?

When they got home, my dad started blasting at me, I was in the living room. Want the whole conversation?
"去厕所也要拿电话，做大生意是吗？比我还要忙..."
and gave me that devil stare.

I ignored him. Cause it's a wiser thing to do.
He went upstairs, then my mother came in.

"也不讲一声就自己回来，打给Mr Choo的时候你已经走了。你知道我们去载你吗？"
"我下车时，已经跟爸爸说我补习过后自己搭车回家了。你们还打给Mr Choo干吗？"

I must admit that my tone wasn't that polite cause I just walked home from the bus-stop, and the sun was scorching.

"问你的补习几点完啦! Mr Choo说你要安排好时间，说你SYF完了6月还有可能要继续跳，O水准怎样考好？"
"你问他SYF干吗啦！他知道什么，又没参加过SYF。"

"有问题是吗？你怕什么？我又不是问你再搬上有没有乖，还是有没有教功课，你打小胜什么？很丢脸是吗？"
"我都说我自己回来了吗！又不是5岁，偶尔自己回来会死啊？"

"自己回来，早上有补习又不自己自己去！整天躲在楼上，不下来，干什么？"
"读书啦！"

"读书读书，每次都讲读书，到底是不是真地在读书！礼拜五和礼拜六早早水，礼拜天才迟迟水。睡眠不足怎样专心听课？"
"一次而已！"
"一次就够了！"

then my father came downstairs.

"为你好你还吵，还在那边大小声。"
"长大了，翅膀硬了对不对？道德教育学到哪里了，目无尊长，读书读到哪里去？"
"没大没小，回答人也不耐烦，还拉高音..."

I kept quiet, grabbed the newspaper and blocked my view. They were getting me on my toes. I don't want to talk, cause I know the tone and words coming out wouldn't be of any help at all.They had to force me to do so.

"跟你讲话，看也不看，也不回答。哑巴是吗？"
"什么？"

my dad wasn't at all pleased with my tone as expected, hit me with his shirt. Wasn't painful though.

"讲话可以不要那么不耐烦吗？可不可以？"
"Aunty彩云说ShiQi以前也是这样子，但是现在比较好了。到你没礼貌！你发烧是不是！"
"什么发烧？"

"什么目标也没有，整天只会在楼上魂。你说啦！有什么目标？"

I didn't want to say, I did raise my hand for something in class. I do have goals. Just that they didn't take my words for it. In a way, I can say that they are insensitive to my thoughts and feelings on this part, Education.

blahblahblah.. I only remembered in details this much. For your information, my brain do practise selective memory. In the whole conversation, my father said "笨死了" and "笨的，你" don't know how many zillion times. Not joking kind of say, but the super angry and I-mean-it tone. Also, they said about how ZheQian did extremely well in his A levels and how poorly my brother did. Not to forget, they included that even Desmond did better than my brother. Scold me for what? I'm not my brother!

okay, finally, it's out of me.

My parent's do get touchy on certain topics. Anything related to school, the BGR issues, etc. It does irritate me to know that they have many thinking that is impossible to change or influence. Are you aiming for the polytechnics? Good luck, my parents are discriminated against you. And there's the piano and ballet issue too. They were angry that all three of us stopped learning piano. So, they started comparing us with our cousins. I wasn't happy with that, so I voiced my thoughts. Piano and ballet, same thing. Both can be used to earn money. Then they started raising their voice and scolded me stupid once again. Saying that teaching piano is better cause ballet cannot earn as much. I think in my whole entire life, I have been called stupid by my own parents at least a million times. Scientists have proven that saying these kind of words affect a person's mind development. They experiemented it with a droplet of water. They said words like "Angel, Devil, Beautiful, etc" to this droplet of water and looked at it through the microscope. The way they are formed is so very interesting. How they looked when being called nice things, they were beautiful. Very very beautiful. I can't say the same for the negative names, horrible looking. It was shown to us during the Adam Khoo's camp.

Read the newspaper just now. You know Shawn? the guy from ACJC who starred in Homerun and I Not Stupid? He got good results. In the interview with him and his parents, his mother said : " He knows that he has to stay up to study if he wants to be involved in all his activities ( basketball and acting ) and he does.. "

Well, my parents scold me for doing so. I may not be as busy as Shawn but more or less as busy. Ballet and tuition on weekends, dance practices and tuition on weekdays, is there a difference now?

Okay, I think there's enough complaining already. I better get to doing my homework(: lest they scream at me for staying up again. When my brother's off for his army camp, my parents won't know if I'm staying up anymore. I get to close my doors so that they won't see light coming from my room. How do you describe this part of my life?


what do you see?

By ZhiXin.♥
@ 1:27 PM